We the People of the Aqua Republic, in Order to form a more perfect Hydration, establish Justice for all Drops, ensure domestic Tranquility within the Waves, provide for the common Defense against Dehydration, promote the general Waterness, and secure the Blessings of Aqua Liberty to ourselves and our Future Fishies, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United Splashes of Water.

Article I – The Legislative Splash

Section 1. All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Splash Congress of the United Waves, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Water Representatives.

Section 2. The House of Water Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Raindrop Year by the People of the several Streams, and the Electors in each Stream shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the Aqua Legislature.

Section 3. The Senate of the United Waves shall be composed of two Senators from each Ocean, chosen by the Legislature thereof for six Drop Years; and each Senator shall have one vote, unless they are evaporating, in which case they shall have half a vote.

Article II – The Executive Wave

Section 1. The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United Splashes of Water. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Drop Years, and, together with the Vice President, chosen for the same Term, be elected as follows:

Each Stream shall appoint, in such Manner as the Wave Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the Stream may be entitled in the Splash Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United Waves, shall be appointed an Elector.

Section 2. The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Aqua Army and Navy of the United Splashes, and of the Militia of the several Streams, when called into the actual Service of the United Waves; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offenses against the United Splashes, except in Cases of Impeachment.

Article III – The Judicial Sea

Section 1. The judicial Power of the United Waves shall be vested in one Supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Splash Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behaviour, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services, a Compensation, which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.

Section 2. The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United Waves, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority; to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls; to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction; to Controversies to which the United Waves shall be a Party; to Controversies between two or more Oceans; between an Ocean and Citizens of another Stream; between Citizens of different Streams; between Citizens of the same Stream claiming Lands under Grants of different Streams, and between a Stream, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign Streams, Citizens or Subjects.

Thus, in a manner most flowing and humorous, do we the People of the Aqua Republic establish this Constitution, in the hope that all Waters may be forever free, just, and delightfully moist.